May-June 2017

A roundup of notable quotables

“Who [else] can say they have a squirrel that guards their house?”

—Meridian, Idaho, resident Adam Pearl, whose pet squirrel, Joey, attacked, scratched, and bit a burglar who’d broken into Pearl’s home to steal his guns. (

“We’re all brothers and sisters in this trade; you know, it’s a calling. Serving your community is one of the best things you can do—besides serving your country.”

—Bastrop County Sheriff’s Deputy Dylan Dorris, who was attempting to arrest a resisting suspect, Kenton Fryer, at a gas station. Another customer (and Marines veteran) Scott Perkins saw the struggle and intervened, drawing his weapon and ordering Fryer to freeze. “I’m alive today because of him,” Deputy Dorris says.

“I don’t understand the connection between having sex with your clients and the charge of compelling prostitution. I hear of attorneys having sex with their clients all the time. I’ve never heard of them getting in trouble.”

—San Antonio lawyer Mark Benavides during an interview with detectives who questioned him after several of his female clients came forward to report Benavides had coerced them into sex. (

“We live in a world where Kardashians rule, making women feel what God gave them is not enough. Ross used that.”

—Twitter user @DAnglinFox4, a Dallas journalist reporting on the trial of Denise Ross, quoting Dallas County prosecutors. Ross was charged with injecting industrial-grade silicone into women’s buttocks and using Super Glue to seal the injection sites. One woman died from the procedure. (Contributed by Ryan Calvert, ADA in Brazos County)

 “I found out that for me, propping my feet up just wasn’t cutting it. You can only fish and hunt so much and damn, I missed working with people and having that focus on mission.”

—Fred Spencer, an investigator with the Travis County District Attorney’s Office, about coming out of retirement from the Austin Police Department to work at the DA’s office. (The article covers a recent trial of some armed robbers, and it’s worth reading.

“It is a man, but we don’t know more. The impact of the fall makes it more difficult to be able to identify him or the wounds he suffered.”

—Antonio Garcia, a spokesman for the Mexican Institute of Social Security, about a man’s body that landed on the roof of his institute’s public clinic. Around dawn one day this spring, a low-flying airplane flew over Eldorado in Mexico, the old stomping grounds of drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, and started tossing bodies to the ground. It’s the latest scare tactic in the Mexican drug wars. (