July-August 2017

A roundup of notable quotables

“My question was, ‘Why didn’t you do all that when he was 14?’”
—Victoria County District Attorney Stephen Tyler, in response to a defendant’s mother, who pled with jurors to give her son the minimum sentence and promised she would keep him out of trouble. Her son, 23-year-old Luz Albert Hernandez, was sentenced to 25 years for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. https://www.victoriaadvocate.com/news/2017/apr/27/man-gets-23-years-for-assault-organized-criminal-a/
“He had a little bit of blood on him, so I think he took a bite out of crime. We’re hoping.”
—Neil Curry, the directory of the Witt Stephens Jr. Central Arkansas Nature Center, about a 3-foot alligator that was stolen during a late-night burglary. Three inebriated men broke into the nature center late one night, trashed some exhibits, and stole (among other things) the alligator, which was later recovered by police in one suspect’s car. http://keyetv.com/news/offbeat/cops-after-being-thrown-out-of-bar-men-stole-gator-from-nature-center
“You know, when I was coming up, people loved and respected the police, the deputies. And I want to be the one to bring that back, especially in the community I serve.”
—NBA Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal, announcing his intention to run for sheriff in 2020. During his basketball career, he sometimes acted as a reserve police officer, and these days he is an honorary deputy in Georgia’s Clayton County. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2708625-shaquille-oneal-announces-he-will-run-for-sheriff-in-2020
“Helpful tip: Before going to jail to bail someone out, make sure you don’t have an outstanding warrant.”
—Twitter user @lawyerthoughts
“I feel like justice was never served. He was given the death penalty, and then he stayed in there all those years. They ended up fixing his teeth, spending a bunch of money on him. He got taken care of and lived out his life until he died. What a waste of taxpayers’ money.”
—James Romero, talking about Los Angeles serial killer Ricardo Ramirez, who was nicknamed The Night Stalker and terrorized L.A. in the 1980s. As a 13-year-old boy, Romero came face-to-face with the killer as he stalked the boy’s home, and his identification of Ramirez led to the killer’s capture. Ramirez spent 23 years on California’s death row before dying of lymphoma in 2013. http://www.lamag.com/citythinkblog/13-year-old-boy-brought-down-notorious-serial-killer-richard-ramirez-night-stalker/
“I fought in Iraq. But covering crime in Houston gave me PTSD.”
The headline of a recent Houston Chronicle column by reporter Mike Glenn. He wrote about the trauma of 15 years of writing about crime in Texas’ largest city and is well worth a read.
“Jury selection is exactly like ‘The Bachelor.’ You don’t choose the perfect one, you just get to get rid of all the crazies.”
—unnamed TDCAA staff attorney